I See You by Greta Hauksdottir

I wonder if Linda has started recycling more. She is exactly that kind of person, I imagine, so I wouldn’t be surprised. She is always neatly dressed, aware of her appearance and her surroundings, and I can easily imagine her as being conscious of the environment and, you know, our carbon footprints and such. Linda is the type one would be honoured to have as a friend. I don’t know her that well, but I’m getting to know her. Beginning to understand her. I think she appreciates it; she often sends me a smile when I see her in the canteen, as if our little encounter outside her home never happened. I am pretty sure I will, in due time, understand her better than most.

Linda is not the only one of my co-workers I’ve tried to decipher. Before her there was Jeffrey. I had always thought his name was spelled Geoffrey; with a big, round G that spoke of high self-esteem and authority, but no, it turned out to have the gentle and rather introverted J. In retrospect, I don’t think a G would have complimented him. Not Jeffrey as I now know him.

In the stockroom, where I work, I hardly speak to anyone. Not that there’s no one to speak to; there’s Carla, with her dull eyes; and Greg, who hogs the forklift, and others, but somehow the morale there doesn’t really encourage conversation. And these do not interest me, anyway.

But Linda, who’s in management, does. I would really like to be her friend. So I have begun studying her, trying to understand what interests her and who she is as a person, and to help me envision her personality, I am creating a replica of her. It will be nearly life-size, and every day I’m getting closer to perfection.

I am not much of a conversationalist, but I am an artist, and my art speaks on my behalf. It speaks to me, through me, and eventually it will speak to others, too. I find that people, in general, tend to greatly overrate the surface. The surface is just a mask. It is a fictional personality that people carefully create to display in the outer world; it is an artificial personality and not their true self. I believe one’s true self is much better illustrated by what one consumes, and what one throws away. So that is what I use in my art, for my creations. The shed skin of their real personalities, retrieved from their well-hidden waste containers. As much as I approve of recycling, it does make my work more difficult. Well, more challenging, one could say. Yes, challenging is good, but it delays the process.

However, I must hasten to finish this project. Linda has already caught me once while I was collecting material for her replica, and I realized that I cannot afford any further delay. The repulsed expression on her face revealed her thoughts, moulded by society’s restricting ideas of what is right and acceptable. Luckily I managed to make up a plausible excuse for my actions on the spot, for I understand if she is not ready to take in the truth immediately. People seldom are. Linda, I am positive, will with time understand, but her status within the company demands of her that she stay within the socially accepted ideas of norms, and she will not want to contradict them publically at this stage. I know that much, and I wouldn’t demand that of her yet. But without proper understanding of her, I cannot aid Linda in embracing her proper self, and she might subconsciously thwart it if I wait too long.

When I’m done, I will put Linda’s replica in the attic, where it will be in company of my other future friends. I have created quite a number of replicas of people I admire, and I know the process of creation has helped me prepare for their friendship. I am just waiting for the day to come.

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